Lesbian Domestic Violence: unseen, unheard and discounted Jude Irwin Department of Social Work,

Domestic violence in heterosexual relationships has been on the agenda of feminist activists, lawyers,

police, health and welfare practitioners, and public policy analysts for almost two decades. However the

existence of violence in lesbian relationships has taken much longer to acknowledge and, for many, there is

still an level of disbelief around this issue. However more recently the existence and extent of lesbian

domestic violence has become a topic of debate within the lesbian community and also the community at

large. As a consequence there has been the development of literature and research (see for example Lobell,

1986; Pharr 1986, Renzetti, 1992; Renzetti & Miley, 1996).

The data presented in this paper is drawn from a research study which explored lesbians experiences of

domestic violence, specifically in relation to support services they accessed. The focus of this particular

paper is on lesbian’s experiences of police intervention in domestic abuse incidents.

Background

There is little dispute about the existence of lesbian domestic violence but there is dispute in the literature

and research about how widespread it is. In the USA some studies estimate that seventeen percent of

lesbians experience domestic violence while others estimate the numbers to be as high as seventy three

percent ((Marguiles 1996). In Australia there have been no prevalence studies which makes it difficult to

estimate the extent of lesbian domestic violence. However anecdotal evidence would suggest that it is

widespread. Many of the forms of abuse that lesbians experience are similar to those experienced by

heterosexual women including physical (eg hitting, kicking and use of a weapon, destruction of

possessions), emotional (eg public denigration, belittling, blackmail, threats of abuse, interruption of eating

and sleeping patterns), sexual (eg forced sex and rape), financial (eg not contributing income, having

control over all assets and money, demanding financial support) and social (eg isolation from family and

friends). However as well as similarities there are also differences. Most of these are related to the

homophobic views about lesbians and the consequent discriminatory attitudes and behaviour. This has

many implications for lesbians who are abused including the lack of appropriate support services and

negative attitudes and practices of some personnel in mainstream services.

The research

The main aim of this research project was to explore the experiences of women who self identified as survivors

of lesbian domestic violence - to give them the opportunity of ‘speaking’ about their experience - a chance to

‘break the silence’. A semi-structured interview was used for this purpose. It was considered that this would

encourage lesbians to talk about their experiences in a way that was not constrained by a questionnaire or highly

structured interview schedule. The participants generally talked freely about their background, their

experiences of abuse, their sources of support and where relevant their use of health welfare and legal services.

The initial interview took between an hour and a half and three hours. The interviews were transcribed and

returned to the women for comment. Most of the women participated in a second interview, the purpose of

which was allow them to comment on the transcript of the first interview and if they wished to elaborate on its

the content. In some situations, however, a second interview was not possible.

A picture of the participants

There were twenty-one participants in the research. They came from all states in Australia except Tasmania

and the Northern Territory and included lesbians living in both rural and urban areas. Participants included

lesbians who were Indigenous Australians, Anglo Australians and lesbians from non-English speaking

backgrounds. The ages of the participants ranged between 22 and 57. Their occupations were varied and 2

included teachers, social workers, lawyers, nurses, beauty consultants and factory workers. For the majority

of participants, their experiences of abuse had been in the previous two years, but for some it had been

several years previously. For all participants these experiences had a powerful effect on their lives. All of the

women had experienced multiple forms of abuse.

The policing of lesbian domestic violence

The remaining part of this paper will elaborate the participant’s views of the police responses in their

attendance and follow up of incidents of lesbian domestic violence. The participants had widely differing

experiences in relation to police involvement in these domestic violence incidents. For some lesbians these

experiences were positive, for others these were negative and for others their experiences were a mixture of

both positive and negative. In analysis of the interviews the responses of the participants covered into three

main areas. These were whether to contact the police, the action (or not) taken by the police took and views

on police responses. These will now be explored in detail.

Police - contact or no contact

Nine of the twenty one women who participated in the study had contact with the police (see table 1). All of

these women had experienced multiple forms of abuse, one of which was physical abuse. In all situations in

which the police were involved physical abuse was present in combination with other forms of abuse. In

four of these situations the women experienced extremely severe abuse which included physical, emotional,

sexual, financial and social abuse. This included rape with a beer bottle, forced sex, an attempted drowning,

being threatened with a knife and gun, being severely beaten, being tied up and beaten, being urinated on,

being isolated from family and friends, being held captive.

Because I was just - I was bruised, it was terrible. Around my neck. I had scratches. I was just - well,

this whole side of my face, the left hand side of my face was just one massive bruise. From her

punching and grabbing the hair and slamming the face into the concrete. And - yes, I was almost bald

from the hair that was pulled out. So I just got in the car and drove. I was stunned, I think. If I had

been thinking correctly, it probably would have been better to go to the local police.

For two of these women their experience was over a prolonged period of time as, despite the extreme abuse,

they found it difficult to disentangle themselves from a relationship that had initially promised so much. For

the other two women the abuse was over a shorter time span but extremely severe, with prolonged physical

and emotional effects. 3

Table 1 Type of Abuse and Police Involvement

Physical Emotional Sexual Financial Social

Police 9 9 4 7 9

No

police

6 11 2 6 8

TOTAL 15 20 6 13 17

The other five situations in which the police were called also involved multiple forms of abuse, one of

which included physical abuse. These situations were also severe and had lasting effects, but did not include

the life threatening experiences of the four referred to earlier.

There were six participants who experienced physical abuse (in combination with other forms of abuse) who

did not contact the police. Their reasons for not involving the police related mainly to not being believed,

not wanting to be ‘out’ to the police and considering that there would not be a positive outcome.

I think the police say “What do I care? They’re women.” I mean, number one, I don’t think - the

police, they wouldn’t really see our relationship as a real relationship anyway. And they’d

probably say something like “just work it out yourselves”. Or “get out of the situation”.

My abuse came from non consensual S/M - who would ever believe me let alone take action. I

didn’t agree to her tying me up and leaving me by myself for two days. I thought I was going to

die but who would believe that certainly not the coppers

Many of the women talked about their shame at involving anyone particularly the police especially when

they themselves were involved in working to prevent domestic violence. However for some this worked

positively.

I was feeling a bit like a fraud especially in a country town, where I was the chairperson of the

domestic violence action group, and later on I ended up having to take restraining orders and

involve police in my stuff. But I must say, amongst all that, they have all been remarkably discreet.

And very respectful. And I think because I have really good credibility, and because I won’t take

any shit from anyone, like “OK no, you’re not going to fucking breach the confidentiality. You will

treat me-”. And so I hadn’t gone into the victim mode thing. I’ve gone, “I’ve got rights here. I

might have been injured by this person, but these are the things I know your system can do.” So

they respected that. And they’ve been very respectful, the police.

The six participants who had not experienced physical abuse but had experienced a range of abuses did not

even contemplate calling the police. They, like many heterosexual women in these situations, were of the

view unless their was physical abuse then it was very difficult to substantiate and there was no point in

contacting the police.

4

I didn’t think it would be taken seriously - who believes women abuse

I was too ashamed to tell anyone

How can I prove what she did - it had a profound effect on me. It was because it wasn’t physical that it

took me so long to call it abuse and by then I was a quivering mess and couldn’t do anything

For some women the decision to call the police was a difficult one. For one this was because of her partner’s

previous experiences with police.

I called the police and that was a really hard decision, cause I knew she’d had a hard life. She told

me she’d been pack raped by the XXX police. So that was hard. And she was a woman. And I don’t

use police. I just don’t use them - you know, it’s not my way. And I’ve never had need to.

Another woman commented on her reticence to call the police because of the experiences she had in a South

American country where the police were violent and oppressive. However the violence was so extreme at times,

that either she or her neighbours did call the police. This woman was also ashamed that occasionally she had to

constrain her partner and was fearful that this would be constructed as her also being abusive.

Because she used to slap me or hit me or punch me in front of C [eight year old child] and I couldn’t

do nothing - I never hurt her. I used to hold her wrists. Because she’s tiny. She’s only size 8. She’s

smaller than me. She’s such a strong person, physically - like an ox. And I didn’t want to get in

trouble, first of all with the law, with police, I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to put myself in

that position that I’d have to go to prison for nothing. It was not my fault. The second thing, I was in

love with her. How can I hurt somebody that I love? So I couldn’t hurt her. And she always had, you

know, dangerous stuff like knives and scissors. And wooden spoons. Even chairs - she used to get the

chairs. She used to break all the furniture

Police - action or inaction?

In only one of the incidents where police were called did they assist the women to take out an AVO. In two

situations they assisted the women to return to the premises to collect personal belongings. However in

neither situation did the police initiate taking out an Apprehended Violence Order nor charge the

perpetrator of the abuse.