Don't beat yourself up, over it..
There were no classes that were offered for free. No one spoke of the inconsistant behaviors.The face they wore when you met does not resemble the one you see now. They don't wear a sign on their foreheads announcing them.
You can not beat yourself up because you did not recognize the Domestic situation that occured or is occuring in your life. It is not your fault
What you can do is,
1. Break the silence
2. Tell someone you trust
3. Find a safe haven.
4. Call 911 ( if it's safe)
5. Create a color flag system, or a text system or put some one on speed dial to alert your neighbors
Use your anger to fuel getting free....LIVE!!!.